Those nasty bad habits can get you in to a lot of trouble! One day you’re feeling happy… and then whammo! it hits you right in the face and you find yourself spiralling into a negative habit and then STOP in a slump feeling depressed and stressed.
You feel bad. You feel nasty. And you feel guilty that once again you sabotaged your life, your relationships, your connections to others and you may have sabotaged your career from moving forward.
You know people are talking about you. “She’s a stubborn brat always wanting her way.” “He’s an arrogant bastard not a team player.” “She’s a real drama Queen she needs to get laid.” “He failed at that health routine again. He’ll die from that diabetes.” “She never takes care of her looks.” “Why can’t he hold a job down?” Those people are talking about you all the time. You’re their main topic of conversation! But let’s put them aside because you know what? They aren’t living your life. YOU ARE!
And, you are your worst critic. WHY? Because all those social norms, all those things those people are saying – you’ve heard them since your childhood. It’s what your parents were saying, what your doctor, teacher, pastor, neighbours – it’s what they’ve been telling you all their life. It’s repetitious. It’s a cycle that continues and will never end. Societal constructs.
NOW IS THE TIME TO PULL YOURSELF OUT! Those things you believe about yourself were given to you by society. As a child everyone around you told you how to think and behave – and this became way of living for you that you think is NORMAL – it’s your NORM.
Bad habits are a NORM for you. They’re just a cycle. They are NOT YOU. They are just a pattern of thought and behaviour that you’re in.
You’re not stuck there.
You can make a choice to kiss those bad habits goodbye by following these 3 easy steps:
- Write them down. Whenever you find yourself experiencing a bad habit – write it down. Document all aspects and all details of that bad habit. Don’t judge yourself while doing this. Write it down as if you were documenting a movie and you’re the main star. What happened next? How did the main star (you) feel? What did the main star (you) think? Who else was there? Has this happened before? What makes the main star repeat this behaviour? What are the triggers? What is the CORE BELIEF behind this bad habit? And so on.
- Write down the PROS and CONS of that bad habit. Yes, the CONS are easy to think of but it’s necessary to write down the benefits you are receiving from repeating this habitual pattern. For instance, you might pass your responsibility onto someone else so you don’t have to do that chore. Or you don’t have to look at the underlying emotions behind the problem if you continue the bad habit. And so on.
- Write down the PROS for changing that habit. What would you get from changing the habit? If you never did this bad habit again how would that change your life? How would stopping this behaviour benefit your family, children, parents, spouse? How would it benefit you? Write down as many PROS as you can think of – and add some more over the next few weeks when you think of them.
That’s it. That’s how you kiss your bad habits good-bye.
Many personal development or life coaches would ask you to add some actions that you promise to do, but I don’t believe in that any more. It doesn’t work out because when you go about your normal routine in life you tend to forget to do the new actions – it’s really hard to juggle your family life, finances, business AND then add some new actions to change a bad habit.
I believe that by writing down the answers in the 3 steps will CHANGE YOUR BAD HABITS naturally. Over time. As long as you dedicate yourself to the writing process – fully focus on it. Then life will change naturally.
Of course, it’s up to you. You can add some actions for change if you want to. 🙂 It’s just not my thing any more.
P.S. In previous blogs or pages you might have noticed that I used to think ACTIONS FOR CHANGE were a good thing. But since I made a drastic change to my own life – see my blog Wyld Woman Goes Bush – that change is more of a flowing process that naturally occurs once your mind and heart are in alignment.